Days Go By
by xxhiphuggersxx
Summary: Post series finale of Spooks. Harry is told to take some time off and advise from an old colleague leads him to a dream he thought was lost forever. Love.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea floated into my head this afternoon when I was listening to Keith Urban's "Days Go By" and surprisingly Jake Owen's "Barefoot Blue Jean Night". Now no worries I am going to keep updating "I Spy the Apocalypse" as well. I just wanted to get this idea out there and see what ya'll think! **

* * *

She looked into his office. She listened and watched him scream into the phone at who knows. These days everyone set him off in some way. She took a deep breath and knew this was the right time to go in and tell him what she has had on her mind. She made her way to his office and didn't even bother knocking. He was about to snap but didn't. He turned and looked at her.

"Can I help you Ms. Wyatt?" Harry growled and turned to his computer. Erin shut the door and stood in front of Harry. He didn't look up. She stood tall and wasn't afraid to say what she was about to say.

"I think you should take some time off Harry."

His gaze left the computer and turned to meet her gaze. She was serious. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't need the time Ms. Wyatt no matter how many times you all suggest it."

Erin took a deep breath and as Harry's gaze went back to the computer, her gaze turned to the window and met Dimitri's. He nodded and Erin turned back around to face Harry.

"I disagree, Dimitri disagrees, Calum disagrees, and so does the Home Secretary," Harry's head snapped and looked at her when she mentioned Towers. Now she had his full attention. "You haven't been the same since... since Ruth died and it is effecting your work whether you see it or not. It's been over two months and I understand you're grieving, but you've been taking out your anger over the situation at us."

Harry looked out onto the Grid and saw Dimitri and Calum watching. When they saw Harry looking at them, their bodies suddenly moved towards the control room.

"I know you don't like hearing these things Harry," Erin continued. "But we're worried about you. Take the time now while you can before TRING decides to take action. We won't stop them if they try. Ruth wouldn't want you to stop living. She'd want you to be happy and this is certainly not happy."

"And you'd know what she'd want." he growls and looks away from her again. Erin bit her lip.

"For the little time I worked with her, yes I do. I worked with her when you were suspended. I saw the looks she flashed into your office, obviously memories coming back to her. She loved you and she'd want you to be happy and move on in your life."

Harry didn't answer. Erin's voice softened up and she moved closer to the desk. He didn't look at her.

"Harry, you've seen this pain in other people. You've seen it in Danny when Zoe left. You've seen it in Adam when Fiona died, in Jo when Zaf died, in Malcolm when Colin died, in Ros when Adam died, and in Ruth when Jo's died. Don't ask me how I know this stuff because I'd never reveal my source but the bottom line is you've seen it. When Fiona died, Adam carried on a meaningless affair with the nanny, Ros destroyed a hotel room when Adam died, Malcolm lashed out at everybody after Colin. Their pain is no different than yours and they all chose to work through it and how did it turn out for them? Adam got sent to TRING and Ros kept it bottled inside and destroyed what was left of her emotions. Take the time Harry. Come back when your head is in the game."

And with that, Erin left Harry's office and returned to work. He watched her leave his office and then he turned back to his computer to work. However, his mind wasn't in it.

_"Would you like to have dinner one night?"_

_She looked at him. "I'm sorry?"_

_"Dinner. That is if you'd like to of course."_

_"That's... that's quite a conversation shift."_

_"But onto a rather happier topic than weapons of mass destruction or your naivety."_

_"I'm not naive." _

_"I booked a table, it's a place I think you'd like."_

_"Very presumptuous of you. I might have said no"_

_"Well I'll go anyway. Be like the Charlie Chaplin character waiting for the girl and making the bread rolls dance."_

_She smiled._

_"What film was that?"_

_"Gold Rush."_

_"Ah, yes."_

_"You won't have to - wait I mean. I'd love to have dinner... together."_

_"That's good."_

He closed his eyes and then opened them. He turned his monitor off and grabbed his jacket. He needed air. He needed to go for a walk. Erin watched him leave and sighed.

He walked along the Thames. The wind was blowing at him. Somehow he made it onto a bench. A bench he used to sit at with Ruth. He closed his eyes again and when he opened them he was startled. Next to him was Jo. He blinked a couple of times. She smiled at him. Her hair was longer, about the same length as it was when she first started working for MI-5. She was dressed in a white dress and her bangs were pinned back.

"Erin is right you know," she said. Harry just continued to stare at her. This must be in his head. "And before you ask yes. You're the only one who can see me."

"I..." Harry began, but Jo cut him off.

"Timing is everything. I believe someone once told you that. Someone a bit less naive than you."

Harry gave a small sad smile that didn't last long.

"Yes." he said. She looked away from him and looked at the Thames.

"Beautiful at times, isn't it?" she asked. He nodded. "Erin is right. You should take time, maybe go on that Grand Tour you've dreamed about. The capitals of major countries except The United States."

Harry shook his head. "No, I couldn't. It's a trip for two and the person in my dream is gone."

Surprisingly Jo smiled and looked at Harry.

"Sweet that you envisioned Ruth to by your partner in this trip. She'd want you to go Harry. I know she would."

Harry looked away from her.

"Then why are you here telling me this and not her?"

Jo stood up and stood in front of him. Her eyes were filled with seriousness, but her tone was soft.

"Take your trip Harry. In the order you told Ruth years ago. I know you remember the order. Take it... and maybe you'll find the missing puzzle piece of your heart along the way."

He did remember the order. Paris, Madrid, Rome, and Berlin. But Jo's last comment made him look at her, only to see she was gone. He wasn't sure what she meant by it. After all, this was all inside his head. He stood up and made his way back to Thames House with Jo's words still ringing in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

He walked into his house and hung his coat up. He could hear Scarlet running to him. He gave a small smile as he was greeted by his furry friend. He moved into the living room and sat down with Scarlet at his feet. He looked onto the table next to him. He had four pictures. One of him and Catherine, another of him, Zoe, and Danny laughing at a Christmas party, one of him and Malcolm at the same party, and then another close to his heart. So close that he made a copy wallet size and put it in his wallet. It was a picture of him and Ruth at the Christmas party a year after Zoe left. He was smiling with a drink in his hand and Ruth had her arm looped through his and was laughing into his neck. He could remember that night vividly in his mind.

He leant back into the chair. Maybe Erin... and Jo were right. Maybe he should take some time and regroup. He still didn't want to go on his grand tour, but Jo's words rang out in his head.

_"Take your trip Harry. In the order you told Ruth years ago. I know you remember the order. Take it... and maybe you'll find the missing puzzle piece of your heart along the way."_

Harry took a deep breath and moved into the kitchen to get a glass of whiskey that was very much needed. He sometimes would wonder about whether or not he believed in God, or that people have been given signs from the heavens above. He pushed those thoughts from his mind and drank his whiskey. He stood in his kitchen for a moment or two and then headed upstairs for bed. He opened his bedroom door and found his suitcase had fallen out of the closet and onto the floor. The door was ajar, but didn't seem broken. He sighed and moved to pick it up and put it back in. Then he pulled back and looked at it. He shook his head.

"I must be out of my bloody mind." he mumbled and put the suitcase on his bed. He went to the closet and went through all his casual attire.

* * *

"He's taken the leave sir," Erin Watts said as she sat down in Towers's office. Towers nodded and sat down across from her. He had his assistance get them cups of tea. She took a sip and then looked at him. "He's falling apart without her sir. It was bad enough when she changed jobs, but this... it's literally killing him."

Towers sighed and said, "There is nothing more we can do Ms. Watts, I've tried."

"There is something you can do sir, you and I both know there is." Erin said back with a firm tone. Towers flashed her a look for it, but she didn't back down.

"Not without loosing my job and you being kicked out of yours."

"But if he were to be... nudged in the right direction without us actually telling him."

"Dangerous tides you're swimming in." Towers warned. Erin sighed and looked away from Towers.

"I've never seen someone fall apart so quickly in this line of work. It was bad enough when Tariq died for the team, but when Ruth... the first week it looked like he hadn't slept the entire week and was running on coffee and whiskey."

Towers stood up and went over to his desk. "I'm not saying I disagree with you and believe me I've seen it, too. Our annual meetings he looks like a bus hit him before he came into the building."

Erin stood up and walked over to his desk and put her hands on it and leant forward to him as he sat down.

"I wouldn't have said this when I first met the man, but things have changed and I think he deserves this. The truth. A person can only go through so many things in this line of work. Please, you and I both know what will happen if he ever did find out the truth on his own."

Towers looked up at her and nodded finally in agreement. She grinned and stepped back to get her jacket.

"But Ms. Watts, if anybody questions me about this I know nothing. You're on your own." he warned. Erin nodded and quickly let the office to head back to the Grid.

* * *

Erin entered the Grid and looked towards Harry's office. She took a deep breath when she found it dark. Dimitri came up behind her.

"He took the leave. Just like you said. Mentioned something about Paris being his first stop."

Erin turned and looked him in the eyes.

"WHAT! Oh shit! Paris, are you sure? Are you absolutely sure he said Paris?"

Dimitri nodded and looked at her funny.

"Is that a problem? Where would you prefer Rome?"

Erin shook her head and when Dimitri realized he wasn't going to get an answer, he turned and walked away. Erin remained in the spot she was standing in. She looked at her watch and then realized he was probably already on a plane heading there. She sighed and sat down at her desk with her hands on her face. She was too late.

* * *

Harry walked through the gate and headed towards baggage claim. He was still unease about this trip. He let Catherine look after Scarlet for a bit. Truthfully, he didn't know when he'd be back so he didn't give a pickup date. After picking up his luggage he took a taxi to his hotel. He chose to stay at the Duquesne Eiffel Hotel. After settling into his room, he decided to go for a walk to find a local cafe that didn't look crowded with tourists.

A little ways down, he found one. He sat in there for about a half an hour and just watched the world go by as he drank his drink. He paid the waiter and then headed out. He continued down the street and came to a cross walk. He pushed the button and waited for it to be his turn to cross the street. He stood there and watched the cars go by and then started looking towards the shops on the other side of the street. A book store caught his eye. He made a mental note to venture into there possibly tomorrow. It didn't look that busy. His gaze was about to flicker away when someone stepped out of the shop. His gaze snapped right back. He knew his eyesight was getting worse over the years, but this he saw clearly. At least, he thought he could. After seeing Jo he had questioned his mental state, but this he didn't want to question. Stepping out of the shop was a woman.

With medium length brunette hair.

With a long black skirt on that matched her jacket.

Someone he thought was gone.

Someone he watched die right before his eyes.

Someone he kissed goodbye one too many times.

Ruth Evershed.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was in his hotel room.

He wanted to run to Ruth.

He wanted to pull her into his arms.

But somehow he ended back into his hotel room. He had been in the service for over thirty years and this is the most fear he has felt in decades. He either saw her and she didn't die or his mind was playing tricks on him. He splashed water in his face and then collapsed onto the bed. He looked at the clock. 5:00pm. He didn't care it was 5, he needed rest. He needed jet lag to free him and give him a straight mind.

He fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next morning.

* * *

He dressed in pants, a loose open blue shirt, and his jacket with his wallet in it. It was 9:00am. He grabbed a bit of breakfast at the same cafe. He came to the conclusion he was seeing things. He saw Jo the day before. He needed rest. He left the cafe and headed back to that same crosswalk and hit the button.

"For God sakes Harry. You're the most frustrating person I know."

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned to see Ros standing behind him. Like Jo, she was dressed in a white dress, but her hair was straight and short. She was in her typical position, hands on her hips. She moved next to Harry who still had eyes wide. The crosswalk sign turned and Harry crossed the road with Ros next to him. When they crossed over, he saw a bench. He went and sat down, but Ros remained standing in front of him.

"I think I've gone mad." he said to himself. Ros shook her head.

"It's all inside your head Harry, but that doesn't mean you don't have to believe it. I thought Jo was quite clear before."

Harry frowned at Ros. Ros rolled her eyes.

"Do I need to spell it out? Come on Harry. I didn't leave 6 to work with morons."

"I don't know what to say. Maybe that I should go to TRING? I'm seeing dead people, getting confusing signs, and I'm tired all the time."

Ros shook her head.

"No. You're not crazy. You know you're not crazy. You're blocking the truth from your mind. I know when I first started working for you I wanted to destroy you because of my father, but now here I am. They could have sent Danny or Adam, but I came. You're not crazy so get off your rear end and find the missing puzzle piece before you run out of time again. Timing is _everything_."

Harry watched her. She stood there proud and strong. He missed her. The fierceness she had. Harry looked down towards the bookshop and then stood up. He could feel Ros following him. He looked at the bookshop door in front of him. And then, with a deep breath he entered. He looked around and saw normal people in there looking for books or working. He turned around, only to find Ros was gone. His gaze returned to the shelves in front of him. He slowly moved up and down each isle, but Ruth was no where in sight. He went back up front to the store manager. He pulled his wallet out and hoped she spoke english.

"Do you speak english?" he asked her. She turned to him.

"Yes. English, Spanish, French, and German. You find everything alright?" she asked and then saw he was empty handed. "Apparently not."

Harry shook his head and pulled out the photo of him and Ruth to show the lady. "This woman was in here yesterday. I saw her come out, do you by any chance remember her?"

The woman took the photo and then nodded.

"Sure thing, Elizabeth Portman. Comes in once a week to help me translate things."

_Portman_. She took Jo's last name. He knew right there and then. It must be real.

"Will she be in today by any chance?" he asked. The lady rolled her chair to look at the calendar. She shook her head.

"No, not until Monday."

Harry sighed. He doubted he could wait another four days till he found her. The woman could tell he was upset.

"On Wednesdays she usually goes to the marketplace to shop. The one ten blocks from here. You could try there." she suggested. Harry gave a small smile.

"Thank you." he said and rushed out.

* * *

Harry took a taxi to the marketplace and paid him. He got out and saw how big it was. One side was all food and the other side was clothing, books, jewelry, etc. He sighed. It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Plus, the place was crowded with tourists. He had to think like Ruth. He knew she wouldn't buy jewelry out in the open like this, so he crossed that off. He decided to start off in the book section and work his way towards the food. He kept low. He wanted to spot her before she spotted him.

At first, he thought he saw her. However it turned out to be someone much older. She wasn't in the books. So he moved into home decor. No luck. On to food. No luck. He spent over an hour and a half looking, but no sign of her. He sighed and headed for the small park next to the marketplace. He walked along the path. It looked like he would have to wait until Monday when she would be at the bookshop. He headed towards a small pond where he saw seating around. A couple people were seated at benches.

And then he saw one bench.

A brunette reading a book.

Wind blowing into her face.

It was her.

He felt as if his heart stopped and for a moment he thought it completely stopped. He watched her. She had some type of a drink with her and a small purse. He didn't know how to approach her or what to say to her. 'Hi I thought you were dead' was not going to cut it.

He slowly continued down the path. He stopped a few feet short. She was very focused on her book. He was about to make his move, but fate had other ideas. A cyclist road close behind him and thought they missed Harry, but actually caught his jacket and Harry fell to the ground. The woman on the bike quickly hopped off.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry sir! I thought I left enough room!" she said and knelt down next to him. Harry had his eyes closed and then he sat up with them still closed. He felt the back of his head and felt blood. Luckily it was just a scratch. The woman started babbling in French, but Harry ignored it. He took her assistance in standing up and told her he was fine. He looked over to find the bench vacant. Harry sighed. He knew Ruth and knew she couldn't have gone far. He started up the path looking everywhere. He wasn't going to let her go. He also knew recovering from a stab wound didn't give you much stamina. He eventually saw her again.

She was sitting under a tree holding her side. The side she had been stabbed on. He didn't hesitate and rushed over. He slowed down within a few feet. He could see her face was wet. He assumed tears.

And then it happened.

She looked up at him.

Brown met blue.

He went into shock again. He wasn't imagining it. He moved closer with wide eyes and knelt down next to her. His hand slowly moved towards her face. She didn't flinch backwards. He brushed his hand across her cheek. Tears were swirling down her eyes. He didn't know if it was shock in seeing him or the pain in her side. When her eyes began to flutter shut, he knew it was the pain in her side. He wasted no time in taking her in his arms (despite his back crying not to) and hurried to a taxi to take her back to the hotel.


	4. Chapter 4

"_That's very presumptuous of you. I might have said no."_

_"__Well I'll go anyway. Be like the Charlie Chaplin character waiting for the girl and making the bread rolls dance."_

___"Of course it's not a trip to do alone."_

___"Did you have a particular companion in mind?"_

___"Well it would have to be somebody whose conversation you enjoyed, yet who understood the need sometimes for quiet. Somebody with a gentle sense of humor, principled, but not foolish or naive."_

___"Dear God, Ruth. Is any institution in this country safe from you?"_

___"I like to think not." _

___"You're all flustered."_

___"Yes, well, that happens sometimes... such as when a group of armed thugs kidnap eight of the wealthiestand most politically powerful men on the planet."_

___"And on my first day back, too. Harry, you shouldn't have."_

___"What? Either that or a basket of muffins."_

___"I guess we were never meant to have those things..."_

___Flashes of pain before her eyes. She can feel herself fall to the grass. Then bright lights flash in her eyes._

___"Small pulse." she hears._

___She flashes back to the hospital room._

___"They'll go after Harry if they discover you're alive." Towers speaks. _

___Then another female voice comes in. "You can choose where you want to live. We'll set it up for you."_

___It was Erin. _

___Now she is in Paris, sitting in her new apartment. Alone. _

___"You promised me Danny." she whispers to herself._

___And then she hears another voice. "Keep believing in my promise Ruth."_

___She shifts and sees Harry on the ground with the cyclist next to him. Her heart races and her feet soon follow. She clutches her side and falls next to a tree. She forgot to take her pills. Blood is seeping through the band aid slightly, but not by much._

___And then it is black._

___"Ruth... Ruth wake up." she hears. She could barely make it out to be Jo's voice._

___"Wake up!" she hears someone shout again._

Her eyes open quickly. She is staring at the ceiling. Heart racing faster than a race horse. Her hand moves to her side and she frowns. A fresh band aid was on her side. She then moved her hand back up and saw she was in a man's shirt.

This wasn't her apartment.

It wasn't a dream.

She slowly moved her head and saw she was in a hotel room. She moved her right hand up her body. She still had a bra on and knickers. She sat up and smelt the shirt. A combination of a cologne, whiskey, and tea. She knew this scent.

It wasn't a dream. None of it was. She was wearing a gray button up shirt. She heard noises from the bathroom. It sounded like a sink... but there was a sound she made out that wasn't the sink. It was someone crying. She swung her legs over the bed. She spotted slippers underneath, women's size. She slipped into them and grabbed the robe hanging on the bed post. She wrapped it around her and slowly made her way to the bathroom. Before she entered, she noticed her pills sitting on a tissue next to the bedside table. She quickly swallowed them and proceeded to the bathroom.

She felt her heart sob.

Harry was gripping the sink. His head looking down. There was blood on the white tile floors and in the sink mixed with water. His shirt had a small blood stain.

"Harry..." she whispered.

* * *

_He carried her back into the hotel. He could feel her wound seeping blood. He hit the elevator button and brought her up to his room. Once in the room, he laid her down on the bed. He took a deep breath. He knew her band aid needed to be changed. He raced over to his suitcase and grabbed a gray tee shirt._

_He removed her shirt, but left her bra on. He didn't want to break any privacy. He also didn't want her skirt to get ruined so he took it off and threw it across the room. He opened Ruth's bag and sure enough there was a spare band aid. He carefully removed the band aid and placed it on the ground. He lifted Ruth very carefully as if she was a china doll. He put the new band aid on and laid her back down. He then grabbed his shirt and carefully put it on her. He tucked her under the duvet. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He placed her pills on the bedside table for when she awoke. He leant forward and kissed her forehead ever so lightly. He then pulled away. He felt the tears coming as he moved to the bathroom with the bloody band aid._

_He just stood there for about ten minutes until her began to wash the cloth band aid. He had never used one of them before. He had always had the throw out kind. The bloody water splashed up onto his shirt, but he didn't care. Once it was clean, he gripped the sides of the sink and then let the tears fall._

_She was alive._

_And whoever brought her here knew she was alive and never told him._

_He cried for ten minutes straight. _

_And then he heard her._

_"Harry..."_


	5. Chapter 5

He looked at her. Suddenly he felt his feet were stuck to the ground. Her blue eyes gazed back at him. After a minute or two, he slowly moved towards her. She remained still. Harry brought his hand to her face. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Ruth leant slightly into his touch.

"I..." Harry began but couldn't finish.

Ruth saw he needed help and so she moved her face from his hand and went into his embrace. She held him tight against her. It took him a moment to recover from shock and return the hug. He held her so tight that it hurt her a bit, but she didn't pull away. She buried her head into his neck. He buried his face into her hair. They stood like that in the bathroom for a couple minutes. He then lifted his head and she lifted hers. Their eyes met.

"How...?" he whispered. "I saw..."

She took his hand in hers and led him away from the bathroom. When in the bedroom again, she sat on the bed and tucked her legs underneath her. He remained standing for a moment, but then sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her.

"I did die." she said softly. Harry's eyes widened. He hoped this wasn't another thing he was seeing. Ruth saw confusion in his eyes and then hurt. She moved and leant over him. She met his lips softly. This kiss was for comfort. For him to feel she was alive. She pulled away and looked at him.

"You died but…" he stuttered. She took a deep breath.

"But I came back. In the ambulance, most of it is a blur, but a paramedic felt a pulse and so… here I am." She said.

He stared at her. If she had been alive this whole time, why didn't she tell him? Why didn't others tell him? He reached for her hand and she didn't object. He held it softly.

"I thought I was going nuts when I saw you yesterday." He said in almost a whisper. She gave him a puzzled look.

"Where did you see me?"

"Coming out of the bookstore. I went there this morning after Ros…. I um, I wanted to find out if I was seeing what I saw or what I wanted to see. Elizabeth Portman."

She gave a small smile.

"They wanted to give me Abigail Stoning, but I didn't think I looked like an Abigail."

Harry smiled, but it then left. He wanted and needed answers. She saw it coming.

"Why didn't… how come I was left in the dark? I thought… after what you said to me…"

Ruth didn't answer. Her gaze went to the window.

"I couldn't…"

Harry frowned and got onto the bed more. He made her look at him.

"Why? What is going on? No… first off who knew you weren't dead?"

"Harry, you can't get mad at them. They did it to protect me… and to protect you."

Harry shook his head. What was going on?

"Who Ruth?" he asked again.

She took a deep breath and looked at their intertwined hands. "Towers, Erin, and…. And Malcolm."

Harry felt the anger boiling in him and then he heard her say Malcolm. He had retired two years ago. How was he involved in this?

"Malcolm… he retired years ago." He said. Ruth nodded in agreement.

"Erin asked him to help… get me out of the country safely."

Safely? Was she in danger?

"Safely? So… you've been exiled again…"

She nodded. Ruth felt his grip tighten on her hand a bit. Before he could say another word, he phone went off. He didn't go to it. He remained where he was, holding Ruth's hand. It was when the phone rang a second time he went and grabbed it. Ruth expected him to answer, but Harry denied the call and turned his phone off. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"That could have been important." She said.

"Not as important as you right now." Harry quickly answered back. They stayed silent for a moment.

"Thank for helping me… earlier. I don't normally…"

"Why did you run from me?" he asked cutting her off. She sighed.

"Like you, I was scared. I needed time… to process what was going on, but then I forgot to take my pills and I went too fast and then you found me."

He nodded. He could understand that only because he did the same thing the day before.

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

She paused to think and then responded, "About a month. I slipped into a coma for a week after I was stabbed. Then Towers and Erin…. Told me I had to leave. I didn't have much time. A week after I came out of the coma I had to leave the hospital, grab my cats, some belongings, and Malcolm helped me to the airport. He stayed with me a couple weeks. He left last weekend."

Harry was speechless. All this happened right under his nose. Towers and Erin went to such measures to make him believe she was dead. They even put her name on the wall. He could feel the tears come back. Ruth moved towards him again and he held her close to him. Somehow his head ended up on the pillow and she was lying across him. After a while, she spoke again.

"I wanted to tell you… especially after what I said about leaving the service. They wouldn't let me though."

Harry nuzzled her neck and said in a hoarse voice. "Why? Do they want me to die alone? Has it really come to that?"

Ruth gave a small smile and lifted her head to look at him.

"No, it hasn't come to that. At least that isn't what they told me."

She rested her head back down on his chest and sighed. Harry saw how tired she was.

"Go to sleep," He whispered in her ear. She looked at him. "I can see how tired you are. We can talk later."

She nodded and he made a move to get up and then he saw something in her eyes. She removed the robe and threw it across the room onto a chair. She was now on top of him in just his shirt and knickers. He saw what she wanted. He kicked his shoes off and took off his belt. Harry then retook his position only this time under the duvet and Ruth retook her spot with her head rested against his chest. Harry just barely reached the light switch and turned the lights off. She began drawing symbols on his chest and when her hand slowed to a stop, he knew she was asleep. Harry moved a bit and kissed the top of her head.

"I've missed you so much." He whispered. He then, fell into sleep. Holding her as close as she could get to him.


	6. Chapter 6

He woke up and she was still there. On top of him. Sleeping. It wasn't a dream. He turned and looked at the clock. It was six. They took a five hour nap. He looked down at her. She was snuggled into his neck and she looked like she was at peace. He didn't know what to do. He wanted so many answers, but he didn't want to throw them at her. He felt her stir against him and he was soon looking into her blue eyes. She sat up and looked at his brown eyes. Slowly, she lifted her hand and grazed it against his cheek. He closed his eyes as she did and reopened them when she stopped.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you." she said. He gave a half smile.

"By the sounds of it, you didn't have much of a choice." he replied. Ruth shifted on him and tangled their legs together.

"Quite a species aren't we?" she asked. Harry remembered she once said that to him years ago. Their first date. He took a deep breath.

"Why did you have to leave Ruth?" he asked. Ruth frowned and moved away from him. She rolled over and then sat up on the bed. He remained where he was and looked up at her. He could see tears forming in her eyes.

"There's a conspiracy Harry. The Russians. They... well everyone affiliated with Ilya Gavrik believe... that we, meaning MI-5, you and me, indirectly murdered Elena and tried to kill Sasha."

Harry's eyes went wide and he sat up almost immediately. A tear came from Ruth.

"That is a load of bullocks. They don't even have evidence..."

Ruth shook her head as more tears fell. "You can say that Harry, but it won't change what they think. After Elena died, you remember Sasha came after you and that's when it started. It didn't go to plan though because Sasha got me... and not you. If I'm dead, then they won't go after you because without me, there is no plot to their conspiracy."

Harry frowned in confusion. He didn't see how Ruth played into it.

Ruth continued, "It's not like it matters. Either way, they would have won. They would have either framed you for her murder, despite Sasha witnessing it, or they would have succeeded in you dying alone. Growing old alone."

Harry saw what she was saying now. She chose to remain dead to keep him out of prison. Again. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her temple as she let silent tears fall. He then turned her head so she was looking at him.

"You left again... to save me?"

She nodded and more tears fell.

"I guess you can say after all these years we're even." she choked out through her tears. Harry couldn't believe it. After everything they had been through, she still gave her life to save his. Ruth also proved to him how much she loved him when she stepped in front of him and took the stab. He lifted her chin and kissed her. She continued to shed tears as they kissed. He wrapped his arms around her, while being careful of her wound, and slowly lowered her back onto the pillow. He felt Ruth run her hand through his hair and she felt him do the same. He then pulled away.

"What did you mean by there is no plot to their conspiracy without you?" he breathed. Ruth looked away, but kept her hands in his hair.

"Part of Ilya's defense is that you wanted Elena dead... to be with me. That you wanted her gone for good so we could be happy."

Harry closed his eyes and leant down over her to nuzzle her neck. She turned slightly.

"We are then, quite an interesting species." he whispered and kissed her neck. She gave a soft smile, but it didn't stay long. Harry sat up and Ruth got off the bed. She moved to the balcony door. He came up behind her and watched her.

"You can't stay," she whispered sadly. "If they find you here with me... then the conspiracy will start up again."

Harry felt his heart break again. He moved closer to Ruth. She could feel him close and before he could say anything. She bolted to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Harry closed his eyes.

"That's it? You're going to let her run?" a male voice said. Harry opened his eyes and saw Adam, dressed in a white shirt and trousers, leaning against a table. Harry looked at him. "Jo didn't tip you off for you to give up. Ros didn't come to let you give up, and I sure as hell aren't going to let you give up."

Harry didn't know what to say. He watched Adam move from the table and stand next to him looking out onto the streets of Paris.

"I don't want to give up, I never did." Harry said quietly. Adam looked at him.

"Then don't be the victim of this mess. Be the survivors of it. Fight for her."

Harry didn't respond to him. He wanted to fight for Ruth, but he also knew how difficult it could be to get through to Ruth sometimes. Adam took a deep breath.

"I fought for Fi and I won. We had a beautiful boy together. After everything we went through, we proved love always wins. So let it win Harry."

Harry turned around, but Adam was gone. Harry took a deep breath and then made his way to the bathroom door. He opened it and found her sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Her eyes were red. Harry walked over and knelt down in front of her. He took her in his arms and she fell into him. He held her close.

"I'm not leaving you Ruth. No matter how many times you tell me to, I'm not leaving."

He felt her grip on him tighten and he held her close. He was not going to leave her.


	7. Chapter 7

They eventually made it back into the bedroom and he was laying on his back while holding her in his arms. They were silent. She drew random drawings on his chest as they sat there and he stroked her hair. Harry didn't want to leave her.

She was alive.

Breathing.

In his arms.

There's no other place he'd rather be.

He soon noticed she began writing greek words on his chest. _Agápe, Philia, Storge, and more.  
_They all meant the same thing. Love.

She took a deep breath and Harry knew their silence was about to be broken. Before she could open her mouth, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. Ruth shifted on him so that her hand was now wrapped around his neck, ever so lightly cradling it. The other hand was still drawing shapes on his chest.

"I won't leave you Ruth. I can't." he said. She gave a small smile and her eyes were watering. She was going to speak, but he cut her off again. "I don't care about the Russians and the conspiracy bull. Something like that can't keep me from you."

Ruth bent her head down so his forehead met his.

"You can't leave your life behind Harry. If you were to stay, you'd never be able to talk to Catherine... or Graham. They're more important."

Harry didn't respond. He loved his children and he loved her. Ruth moved and rolled off of him. He wasn't letting her go. As she rolled he rolled so he was on top of her, being careful of her wound. Ruth was pinned underneath him.

"I'm a spook Ruth, there are ways and that is a lame excuse." he said. Before Ruth could protest, he kissed her. He elevated her off the bed slightly and tangled his hand in her hair. Ruth soon gave in.

* * *

"He is already in Paris, sir."

Towers sighed. He looked at Erin. "And he hasn't answered his phone?" She shook her head. "He's going to be mad at us when he comes back."

Erin mumbled something he couldn't hear and he raised his eyebrows. She said it louder, "If he comes back."

"His responsibility to his country will bring him back." Towers said firmly and sat down. Erin knew that wasn't true.

"You don't know how much he loves her and how much it hurt him when you took her."

Towers took a sip of tea and then answered, "It was to help her career. She was going nowhere there."

Erin frowned.

"Pushing the feelings aside," she said firmly. "What are we going to do if he doesn't come back?"

* * *

"Would you like to have dinner?" he asked as he pulled his lips away. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily. She gave a small smile again. She moved to his ear.

"I'm sorry?" she questioned. He grinned. He knew where this was going.

"Dinner... that is if you'd like to of course." he whispered back. She smiled.

"That's quite a conversation shift."

"But onto a rather happier topic than the Russians... or your naivety."

She laughed. It had been far too long since he heard her true laugh.

"I'm not naive."

"I can book a table, it's a place I think you'd rather like."

She shook her head and smiled while biting her lip. "Very presumptuous of you. I might have said no."

He laughed. It had been far too long since she had heard that laugh. "I'd go anyways, be like the Charlie Chaplin character waiting for the girl and making the bread rolls dance."

"Gold Rush..." she whispered and kissed his cheek. "You won't have to... wait. I'd love to have dinner, together." His smiled turned to a grin.

"That's good."

And he kissed her. She smiled into the kiss. For now at least, she should enjoy his company.


	8. Chapter 8

She didn't know why she agreed to the dinner.

No, that's a lie. She knew exactly why. She wanted to be with him, but she also didn't want to hurt him, again. He seemed adamant about staying, but she couldn't be the reason he never got to speak to his family again.

She dressed in a red knee length dress, thin straps, and heels. She hadn't dressed like this in a long time. She had her hair straight and a simple diamond necklace on. He would be here any minute, that is if he didn't get lost on his way to her little apartment. She was putting on her perfume when she heard a knock at the door. _'Crap! He's early!'_ She quickly applied lipstick and rushed to the door. She opened it nervously and saw Harry standing there. He was dressed in a black trousers and jacket with a white shirt underneath. He had left the last two buttons undone and didn't wear a tie. His eyes went wide when he saw her. She looked stunning. Ruth moved aside and let him into her apartment.

It looked a bit like her old flat back in London. He looked at the table near the couch and saw she had the same picture he carries in his wallet. He smiled at it.

"Malcolm gave that to me," she said softly behind him. He turned and looked at her. She had a small smile on her face. "He said I would thank him later."

Harry chuckled. They stood there for a moment in silence. He wanted to take her in his arms so badly, but he didn't want to push any boundaries. He cleared his throat.

"So, shall we be going Miss. Evershed?" he asked and held his arm out. She smiled and nodded.

"Let me just do one thing."

She hurried into another room, which he assumed was her bedroom, and appeared moments later. She took his arms and he led her out of the apartment and into the Paris evening.

* * *

She loved the restaurant he picked. It was small and quiet and away from the busy streets. They sat there for a moment in silence, but eventually began talking. They spoke as if they saw each other on a daily bases. He loved the sound of her laughter, it was something he missed dearly.

She loved it when he made her laugh. He had a gentle sense of humor and at one point made the bread rolls dance. They shared a bottle of red wine over dinner and they shared a small piece of dark chocolate cake for dessert. When their dinner was over, he took her on a walk in the busier parts of Paris. She looped her arm into his and leant into him as they walked.

This was the best evening Harry has had in five years. The last time he felt like this was their first date. Although, he had to admit he felt more comfortable on this date. She seemed to be more comfortable as well. They turned the corner and saw a bunch of couples dancing to music. He got that smirk on his face and she knew what was coming.

"Harry..." she began, but it was too late. He grabbed her hands and led her onto the dance floor. She smiled and gave a small laugh as he twirled her around. He put his hand around her good waist and another in her hand. They moved as if they had been dancing together their whole life. Anybody watching them would think they were a married couple. He looked into her blue eyes and she returned the gaze into his brown ones.

The music began to slow into a slow song and Harry didn't want to let go of her. He brought her closer, so close he could feel her breath against his neck. Her heart was beating fast. He locked gazes with her against and was about to lean forward when the music turned again. It was more festive. Ruth then remembered the Wine Festival was this week and this is what they stumbled into. She knew the dance everyone was doing. She smiled and let go of Harry much to his dismay. She began to replicate the dance everyone was doing and he was amazed. He had a surprise for her though. He moved next to her and began to dance to the music. Her eyes widened as she watched him. She twirled back into him and they continued to dance to the beat.

"I never knew you had a secret talent." she purred in his ear. He shivered and smiled. He leant into her ear.

"I could say the same for you Miss. Evershed." he said in a husky voice. She blushed and he spun her around.

When she came back, he caught her close to him. His chest was pressed up against his.

"I've been dancing since I was four, now how about you?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I never actually took professional dance lessons."

She looked at him with wonder and amazement. He chuckled.

"Any other talents I should know about?" she asked as they continued through the dancing crowd. He smiled and whispered,

"Follow me into my world and you'll find out."

She took a deep breath and Harry saw her gush red. He grinned at the effect he was having on her.

They continued to dance for twenty more minutes and then when the dance floor began to clear, the headed out back onto the streets. They were smiling as they continued down the street.

"I completely forgot that the Wine Festival was this week." she said as they walked. She looked at him and saw that look on his face. She gasped and gave a small smile.

"You purposely brought me there, didn't you?"

When he didn't answer, that was his answer. He knew all about it. She shook her head and smiled. They reached her apartment building and stopped in front of the door. She invited him up, which he gladly accepted and deep down was hoping she would ask. They reached her apartment and when they entered, she took his jacket and hung it up. He wasn't sure how long he would be staying so he didn't take his shoes off. She noticed it.

"You know you can take your shoes off," she said flat out. He was going to answer, but she kept talking. "I'll be right back. Make yourself at home."

He watched her go off towards her room and shut the door. She took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. She had a huge problem.

She didn't want their time together to end. She knew she'd feel this way, she just didn't know it'd be this strong. She took her heels off and threw them into her closet and headed into the bathroom. She thought back to how they danced and her heart melted. She had never seen that side of him. Come to think of it, she doesn't think anybody she knows has. She adored that side of him, not that she didn't adore all of him, but that was her favorite part.

Meanwhile, back in her living room Harry is sitting casually on the couch. He's not surprised at her decor. She had two bookshelves filled, his guess was most weren't even in English.

It was kind of hard for him to believe he was sitting in her living room. Three weeks ago, he still believed her to be dead and one trip to France flipped his world. He understood why she didn't want him to stay, but he was a spook. There were certainly ways he could contact Catherine and maybe one day Graham. He wasn't going to leave her no matter how much she pushed. He loved her. He's loved her for eight years. He wasn't letting her go. He had taken his shoes off and placed them near the door. He also made sure his cell phone was off. He heard her bedroom door open and she came back out. She had taken her heels off and that was it. He guessed she needed time to think. She gave a soft smile at him and sat down next to him.

"Would you like anything to drink?" she asked. He shook his head. Drinks would only be a distraction for talking. She took a deep breath. "I had fun tonight, more fun than I've had in a long time."

He agreed. He wanted desperately to hold her, but he restrained himself until she made a move... if she did. He needed to make conversation.

"So, how did you start working at that bookshop?"

She smiled at the memory.

"It was Malcolm's doing actually. We were in there looking for some new books and the lady at the counter was struggling to help a lady with a book translation and Malcolm dared me to step in. So I did and the rest is from there."

Harry smiled. Leave it to Malcolm to get her into something like that. They were silent again. Harry then had an idea. He put his arm across the back of the couch, hoping she'd get the message. She noticed it and granted him his wish. She moved into his arms and he wrapped his arm around her. She relaxed her head onto his shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes until he spoke up.

"I'm not leaving Ruth. We'd both be hurting if I leave, I'd be miserable back in London knowing your here and I'm not with you. If my children are your only reason why I should leave then you don't have enough. I've been a spook for nearly thirty years. There are ways I can contact them."

He felt her grip tighten on him and he hoped that was a good sign. He kissed the top of her head.

"My heart is saying I don't want you to go, but my mind is telling me it is more logical for you to."

"Then follow your heart. We're meant to have these things."

She looked up at him. She then stood up and took his hands to bring him with her.

"Stay with me tonight." she said. Harry eyes widened a little bit. He had never known her to be so forward. He stepped closer to her so their chests were pressed against each other and he carefully wrapped his arms around her. She followed his lead and did the same.

"Ruth," he whispered with a hint of desire. "I don't want to push you in any way or..."

She gave a small smile. He was a bit confused.

"That's not what I mean," she said blushing a bit. He raised his eyebrows at her. "I can't... well you know..." she stuttered. Harry moved to her ear.

"You can say the word Ruth, it's not like it is taboo."

She took a deep breath. 'Come on Ruth'

"I can't have sex... not yet anyways for at least another week. The doctor I'm seeing doesn't recommend it. But anyways back to my point," she said still blushing. "I want you to stay with me tonight, just... just..."

Harry could see it was getting hard for her and so he stopped her stuttering by sweetly kissing her. When he pulled away he said,

"You want comfort. Yes Ruth, I'll stay. However, I didn't bring pajamas."

She chuckled a little bit and took his hand and led him towards her room. He smiled and happily followed her. He knew this would be the best and most relaxing sleep he's gotten all year.

* * *

I'm going to go back and forth between updating this and I Spy the Apocalypse so next up is a chapter for that soon! :) Oh I do have a question. I was watching the episode where Harry asks Ruth on a date and I swear her eyes are green and in episodes from 2,3,4, and 5 I swear they're green, but then in season 8,9,10 they're blue. I am just nuts or something lol?

xxhiphuggersxx


	9. Chapter 9

Harry woke the next morning, but did not move a muscle. He liked the picture in front of him of Ruth nuzzled in his neck fast asleep. His arm was carefully wrapped around her waist to hold her close to him. Her hand lay across his chest right over his heart.

His heart that she didn't steal.

She didn't need to steal it.

It had been hers all along.

The sun was shining through the curtains and Harry wondered the time. He slowly turned his head and saw it was nearly eight. He had never slept in this late. He was always on the Grid at seven thirty and like always Ruth would be there for seven. He thought back to the first day of Ruth's exile, how she hadn't been there at seven. All those months trying to move on, only he couldn't. She had taken his heart with her in her travels.

Then there was her first day back from exile. The day Jo had died. The look of pain on her face when he told her of Jo's death. A face of hers he'd never forget. A face he saw that day in the van after seeing Elena. It was a side of her he had seen too many times and never wants to see again.

Now here he is, sleeping beside her. The closest he had been to her in eight years. He never wanted to let go of this feeling. He wouldn't let go of it.

He could feel her begin to wake up and soon enough he was staring into her beautiful blue eyes. The exchanged soft smiles and Harry kissed her forehead lightly. Ruth moved closer to him and rested her head on his chest.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked with a yawn. Harry couldn't help but notice how cute she looked when she yawned.

"About ten minutes. For once I woke up to the sunlight coming in and not a noisy alarm next to me."

She gave a small, tired laugh.

"It's been awhile since I woke up and smiled right away." She said with a hint of sadness. Harry immediately caught it and planted a kiss into her hair and held her close. He made circles on her lower back as they lay there in the sun's beams. As they lay there, Ruth's hand slowly made its way underneath his tee shirt to feel his bare skin. Harry found himself holding his breath for a moment as she did. When she touched him, it was like electricity was running through his body. He made a daring move and lifted her shirt a bit and moved his hand underneath and continued to draw circles on her. After a moment, she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"Next week is my plan to leave Paris," He said suddenly. Ruth's head shot up, nearly hitting her head with his. Her eyes met his and she didn't know what to think. "I'd like you to come with me." he finished.

Ruth's heart rate went down a bit after realizing what he was saying. She bit her lip.

"Do you mean back to London?" she said in almost a whisper. Harry shook his head.

"No, to Madrid, then to Rome, and then Berlin. Then from there… I don't know yet."

Ruth put her head back on his chest and relaxed. Harry gave her some time to think as they sat there. He didn't want to push her. Truth is, she'd love to go with Harry. The aftermath of the trip though was what worried her.

"Harry, I want to. I really do it's just… the ending of the trip scares me." she said. Ruth was just going to come out and say what was on her mind. He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not leaving you. I can't and I won't. It's like I said, leaving knowing you are alive would be the death of me. I love you Ruth, I always have and I always will."

Ruth smiled into his neck. The thing that was left unspoken on the docks. Ruth believed he wouldn't leave her, but she didn't want to go back to London for a while. Not while things were still burning with the Russians.

"I'll come," she said and raised her head. She loved the grin that appeared on his face. "However, I need to do a bit of shopping and see my doctor before we leave."

He leant forward and kissed her gently and lovingly.

"Also," she continued when they pulled apart. "You should retrieve your things from the hotel room," Harry frowned and Ruth smiled. She leant forward again and kissed him. When she pulled away she finished speaking, "I'm going to be bold and ask for you to stay here. With me…"

He smiled and pulled her close to kiss her this time deeply. She moved so she was fully on top of him. He sat up so she could get comfortable. Ruth found herself straddling as they made out like horny teenagers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and they were eventually chest-to-chest. After a few minutes it was Harry who pulled the plug. He was getting a bit…. Excited. Ruth then realized she must have been teasing him and went to apologize when he put a finger to her lips.

"Don't ever apologize for doing something like that."

Ruth was about to speak when her stomach made a sound. Harry laughed and sat up more with her still straddling him.

"I will apologize for that noise." She said with a small smile. Harry kissed her cheek and Ruth got off of him.

"Why don't you go and shower while I fix us some breakfast?" he suggested. Ruth smiled and agreed with the suggestion. This day, she could tell, was going to be a good day.


	10. Chapter 10

Well I was going to update two days ago, but then I lost power for like seven hours…. And then fanfiction wouldn't let me into my account and gah! It was just quite a mess. So now this is the only time I can update. I apologize (again) for the delay. Enjoy!

* * *

Harry was enjoying his days in Paris with Ruth a great deal. They went to cafes, walked in parks, took boat rides, went out to dinner every night, and ended every night with her curled up in his side fast asleep. He loved it.

He loved her.

So much.

Today was the day she went to the doctors for an examination. Ruth very nervously, asked Harry if he would come with her. He didn't hesitate when he said he would. So now, they were sitting in the doctor's office waiting for Ruth's name… well her fake name to be called. Harry held her hand to help her stay calm. A nurse came out from the back and called out,

"Elizabeth Portman!"

Ruth stood, shaking a little bit, and made her way to the door with Harry following closely behind. The nurse showed them to a room and instructed Ruth to put on a gown. Ruth looked over at Harry. Harry smiled and then turned around to give her privacy. Ruth stripped down and put the gown on, but she couldn't tie the back.

"Harry…" she said. Harry turned around and saw her holding the gown by her neck. He smiled and stepped over to tie a knot for her. When done, he kissed just behind her ear. She smiled as she sat down on the patient's table, with Harry standing next to her. The doctor then came in and she smiled at Ruth.

"Good afternoon Elizabeth… and oh I see we have a guest!"

Ruth blushed a little bit and responded, "Yes this is Peter. He's my um…"

She didn't know what to call Harry. She could say boyfriend, but it would sound like she was a teenager. She couldn't say lover because they weren't lovers… yet. Before she could think of something, Harry came to her rescue.

"I'm her partner."

The doctor nodded and held out her hand. "I'm Dr. Mary Scott. I was unaware Elizabeth had a partner. I met her brother Daniel a few weeks ago."

The doctor turned around to look at her clipboard and Ruth mouthed 'Malcolm' to him. He nodded. He assumed Dr. Scott meant Malcolm.

"Anyways," Mary said and turned back around. "Ruth I'm going to need you to lay down… you know the drill."

Harry stepped aside so the Doctor could be next to Ruth. He moved to the end of the patient table. The doctor looked over Ruth for about twenty minutes and once finished, Ruth sat up.

"How do I look doctor?" she asked. Harry returned to Ruth's side as Mary wrote some things down on the clipboard.

"There is definitely improvement. I can clear you for more activities now…. Including sex," Mary said. Ruth couldn't help but turn red at that statement. Mary smiled. "Do you have any questions?"

"Can she travel?"

Mary didn't answer for a moment. She looked at her papers and then back at Harry.

"Not alone. How long are you suggesting?"

"Two months."

Mary's eyes went wide. "Well, that is quite long however if Ruth emails me every week with an update on how she is feeling I don't see why not."

They thanked Mary and Mary left them so Ruth could change. Harry turned around after untying the knot to give her privacy. When she changed, they headed back to her apartment.

* * *

Ruth set her things down in the living room and went into the kitchen to get a drink. Harry just stood in the living room, not knowing what to do. Well, he knew what he wanted to do. He just didn't want to push Ruth. Ruth came back with a water in her hand and sat down on the couch. Harry sat down next to her.

"So when do you want to leave?" she asked. Harry smiled.

"Hopefully by mid afternoon tomorrow."

Ruth nodded and set her water down on the table. She then, very boldly, grabbed Harry and kissed him. Harry didn't respond for a moment due the shock he was in, but then responded. Ruth moved and straddled Harry as she continued to kiss him. Harry broke away and began kissing her neck. There would probably be a mark there later. Ruth braced herself by putting her hands on Harry's shoulders. She couldn't help but smile when she felt his excitement down low. Harry pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Ruth, I don't want to push you." He said while gasping for air. Ruth smiled and moved to his ear.

"I wouldn't be straddling you right now if I didn't want you to."

And after that comment, Harry picked Ruth up and moved her into her bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and then moved back on top of her. He was careful not to lean too much onto her wounded side. Ruth began undoing the buttons of his shirt and soon threw it off to the side. She ran a hand down his chest softly and then saw his arm. She saw the mark Tom' bullet left all those years ago. She kissed it softly.

"Scared me to death that day." She whispered. Harry ran the back of his hand across Ruth's face before kissing her again.

"We've waited too long for this moment." He said into her ear. She nodded in agreement. They spent the rest of the day in bed discovering each other and loving each other. It was better than Ruth's imagination and certainly better than Harry's.


	11. Chapter 11

Later that evening, Ruth was lying on top of Harry as he held her close to him. How could they have waited over eight years to do that she did not know. Harry rested his forehead on the top of her head and Ruth sensed he was thinking about something.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly. She reached to her left and picked his hand up. Harry picked his head up.

"Just being sentimental really," he answered. He knew Ruth wanted more though. "I just… I still can't believe that two months ago I thought you were gone forever and now here I am holding you after making love to you."

She smiled and then turned around in his embrace so she could face him. She ended up straddling him again as he sat up.

"I know. I wanted to tell you I was alive…. But the important thing is you're here now," she said and kissed him. He smiled against the kiss. When she pulled away she leant in and hugged him. Harry moved his head a bit so she could rest hers on his shoulder. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"What did you first think of me when I came onto the Grid and into the meeting room?"

Harry smiled and kissed her cheek.

"You had the energy our team needed and I knew from reading your profile you were damn good at your job. Plus, once you said 'Bugger the Home Office' I knew you'd fit right in."

Ruth laughed. She remembered saying that.

"I wanted us to storm the mosque."

Harry laughed with her. "Well you said what we were all thinking."

Ruth smiled and another thing popped in her head. "Hard to believe all those years ago. How we we're coworkers and somehow it spilled into something more. Did you ever think we'd be in this position?"

Harry looked down at their position and Ruth knew what he was thinking. Harry got that smirk on his face and Ruth playfully slapped him.

"I know what you mean," he said. Then he didn't answer for a minute or so. She began drawing circles on his chest while waiting for an answer. "I did think so, but I thought that after our first date."

Ruth nodded.

"I wish I never let those rumors bother me." Ruth said softly. Harry kissed her head.

"It's like you said before, the important thing is you're here now. That's what matters."

Ruth clung to him tighter and buried her face into the side of his neck.

"I know… I just sometimes wish…"

"I know, I know."

They sat there in silence as they held each other. Tomorrow morning they were headed out and off to Spain and Harry couldn't wait. After all these years, he was finally going to get his dream Grand Tour.

A/N Sorry this is so short but I wanted to get something out there since I haven't updated. I will post another chapter (longer) in the next few days!


	12. Chapter 12

Harry had called a taxi for him and Ruth early the next morning. They were taking a train to the border of France and Spain, and then would get onto another train and continue their journey to Madrid. He also called and canceled the hotel he had booked and then called a much nicer hotel for two. Now, he was sitting on Ruth's bed watching her pack a couple more things. A thought then hit Harry.

"I readopted Fidget when you well… you know. It didn't feel right letting animal control take him so I snuck him out with some of his things."

Ruth smiled, but didn't respond to the statement. She zipped up her suitcase and was going to move to lift it when Harry put his hand on top of hers to stop her. He hopped off the bed and took her suitcase for her. She smiled and picked up her jacket.

"That's everything."

Harry smiled and after one last look at the apartment, Ruth closed the door behind them and locked it up. With Harry's free hand, he took hers in his. They walked down to the taxi and loaded everything into the trunk. Before Ruth got in, Harry pulled her close and kissed her temple. She blushed and then got into the taxi with Harry right behind her. This was the Grand Tour he had always imagined.

* * *

"Home Secretary, I don't think that is a risk we should take."

Erin was sitting in Towers office discussing their situation about Harry and Ruth when there was a knock at the door. Towers yelled,

"Enter!"

Erin turned and to her surprise, Malcolm came in. She stood.

"Malcolm… it's been…."

"Two months." Malcolm finished and shook her hand and then Towers. He didn't know yet that Harry had gone to Paris. Erin gave a small nod and sat back down.

"Thank you for coming Malcolm," Towers said and sat back down. Malcolm took a seat next to Erin. "We have a situation… regarding Elizabeth Portman."

Malcolm's eyes went wide.

"What… she isn't…?"

"No," Erin spoke quickly. "She is alive however… in order to clear Harry's mind, Home Secretary gave Harry time off and he went to Paris."

Malcolm's eyes went wide and then a small smile formed on his face.

"You mean… there is a chance he found her?"

Erin could tell Malcolm was happy, but Towers was not.

"This is not a good situation for multiple reasons. For starters, the Russians will know we lied and that will cause chaos and second Harry cannot leave the service right now and he will want to if he had found her. She cannot come back."

Malcolm frowned.

"What are you suggesting then?" Malcolm asked. He didn't like where this was going.

Towers sat up straight; "We have no choice but to bring Harry back."

Erin bit her tongue. She knew if Harry had found Ruth he would never leave her again. Malcolm knew that, too.

"He will never do that sir," Malcolm spoke. "If he has found her. He will never leave her. He would die before he let that happen again."

Towers shook his head. "I wish there was another way, but there isn't. Not without involving other nations. I'm sorry but their situation is not worth that risk. I've heard things about them in their past…"

Malcolm spoke up again, "Pardon me sir, but I don't think any of us really know. Those are rumors you have heard. Their past and history goes past that. He loves her and has been taken from her enough times. I'm telling you, he will not come back."

"Then you two need to convince her and tell her to tell him when you find them. Now I am running late and needed in a meeting."

Malcolm and Erin's eyes went wide. Erin stood up,

"I'm sorry but… what are you implying?"

Towers looked Erin in the eyes as he opened the door.

"You know what I'm implying."

And with that, he left. Erin sat back down with her jaw dropped. They sat there in silence until Erin broke it.

"You know we can't do that Malcolm, it will kill Harry." Malcolm nodded in agreement. They needed a new plan and fast.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the train heading to Spain Ruth sat in the window seat with Harry to her left. They had lifted the armrest so she could lean into him. There weren't many people around them and Harry was happy about that. Ruth wasn't asleep, but she had her eyes closed. They stayed like this for about an hour until Ruth gave a soft whimper of pain. Harry raised his head and saw she was grabbing her side. It then clicked she was leaning into him on her bad side. He kissed her head.

"Stand up." He whispered. Ruth looked at him funny, but then stood up. Harry then moved so his back was against the window and he stretched his legs across onto his seat. The seats were wide enough by just an inch. He signaled for her to lie on top of him. She did so and rested her head on his chest. This was less painful. They didn't speak much on this train ride. Just being with each other was enough for them. They had waited so long for these types of moments and they weren't going to waste them.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I apologize (again) for the delay. Ideas sparked me for "I Spy the Apocalypse" and I had to get them down.

* * *

Harry and Ruth reached the hotel they were staying at and Ruth gasped. It was stunning on the outside and when they walked into the lobby it was twice as stunning. Harry impressed Ruth with his Spanish as he talked to the front desk. The bellhop then took their bags and Harry took Ruth's hand.

"Our room will be ready in about half an hour." He said. Ruth smiled and nodded. They walked outside to the courtyard and found a bench to sit on. Harry put his shades on and Ruth couldn't help but think how sexy he looked in sunglasses. She leant her head onto his shoulder and his arm immediately wrapped around her. She smiled.

"I never knew you how well you can speak Spanish. Any other languages that you keep hidden?" she asked. Harry smiled.

"Maybe…"

Ruth playfully slapped him.

"Come on Harry! You know every language I speak!"

Harry laughed. "Yes, well I only know that because of your résumé."

Ruth crossed her arms and looked away from him. His smile turned into a grin.

"I speak Spanish, French, German, and of course English. My Italian is a bit rough."

Ruth's eyes widened.

"And here I thought you could only speak German and English. What about Russian?"

Harry's hand made a so so motion.

"Asi asi."

Ruth smiled and kissed his cheek.

"But during the…" she trailed as thoughts of Elena came to mind. Harry kissed her cheek softly and she found her words again. "You always seemed like you knew what they were saying."

Harry was about to respond when a server came up to them to offer them a complementary margarita. Harry grabbed two, one for him and one for Ruth, and thanked the server. Ruth sipped her drink as Harry answered her.

"My Russian is like my Italian. Bit rough."

"So, all those times you nodded along…?"

Harry nodded. "Sometimes I played it fast and loose."

Ruth laughed a little bit.

"Even with Towers?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't do that with him."

She laughed. "You think?"

Harry smiled and sipped his drink. His was strawberry and hers was pineapple. He saw she made a face as she sipped hers. He could tell she didn't like it so he took hers from her hands and replaced it with his. Ruth watched in amazement. He always knew. He winked at her and smiled. She returned the smile with a bit of blush. They finished their drinks and headed back into the lobby. Their room was ready and they were given keycards. Their room was on the fifth floor and Ruth took note to that. On a map, she noticed the higher the floor number, the more suites on that level. This hotel was only five stories high. They got off the lift and Ruth followed Harry down the hallways. When they reached the room Harry let go of her hand for a moment to open the door. Ruth was speechless as they walked in. The first area was a small living room with a huge balcony. Ruth continued to explore while Harry watched in amazement. There was a master bathroom with a glass shower and a bench and then a huge tube. She then reached the master bedroom. Her eyes went wide. A king size bed filled most the space and as she turned around she saw the dresser and two doors that must lead back out to the living area. She slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. Her hand brushed against the pillows. She smiled. Silk. She heard the double doors open but didn't look over. Harry came over and sat down next to her.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered in her ear. She smiled. She turned and looked at him.

"I think you know."

Harry smiled and lightly pushed her back onto the bed and stood up so he was looking down at her. She smiled up at him and he moved her legs apart so he could stand in between them. Ruth took both of his hands.

"We are definitely thinking the same thing."

* * *

Erin sat in Malcolm's living room waiting for him to help his mother to bed. They had to read Dimitri in since he had to come, but before they do that Malcolm suggested with coming up with a plan. Malcolm came in a few minutes later with a pot of tea.

"You know what I don't understand?" Erin asked. Malcolm shrugged. "The first time I met with Towers he was all about how we should let Harry find Ruth and now he wants us to break them up!"

Malcolm sat down in an armchair and sighed.

"We don't even know if they found each other." He pointed out. Erin shot him a glare he would almost compare to Ros.

"It's Harry and Ruth. Things like this happen to people like them."

"We could always fail at finding them."

Erin shook her head.

"Then Towers would just send other agents to get him."

They stayed silent as they thought things through.

"We could warn them." Malcolm said.

Erin nodded.

"I just don't have a good feeling about this whole thing."

Malcolm nodded in agreement.

"I wonder," he began. "If he did find her… where they are now."

* * *

Harry collapsed on top of Ruth and rolled off of her quickly. He didn't want to press into her side. Their breathing was quick and heavy. Harry looked over and saw her eyes were still closed. He found her hand and kissed the back of it lightly. Ruth smiled, but kept her eyes closed. Harry propped himself up onto his elbow and looked at her. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. He hadn't seen her like this in years. He could tell by her breathing that she had fallen to sleep. He watches her with a small smile. His thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"I was right,"

Harry sat up and looked around. Ros was leaning up against the dresser. She was dressed like in Paris, in a white dress. Feeling exposed, he covered Ruth with the duvet and covered as much of him as he could. Ros smiled.

"There is no need to be modest, Harry. You wouldn't even be in this position if Jo didn't push you to take a vacation."

Harry sighed.

"What are you claiming to be right about?"

"Well, more like Jo and Ruth were right. It was Ruth's statement after all 'Timing is everything'"

Harry thought back to when Ruth said that. Ros just stood there waiting for him to come out of the memory.

"You're timing isn't exactly perfect though." Harry eventually said. Ros smiled.

"Oh come on Harry, it is me. You know I always interrupt in the most inopportune moment."

Harry smiled.

"What is the point of your interruption?" he asked. Ros's facial changed and Harry sensed something was up.

"I'm in your head Harry, why do you think I came?"

"Are you going to respond to every question I ask with another question?"

"By the laws, I can't tell you the future. I can recall memories though, Blake."

Harry's eyes widened.

"Yes, I do remember him."

"And you remember who he turned out to be?"

Harry nodded. He felt Ruth begin to stir and he looked down at her. When he looked back up, Ros was gone. He turned to Ruth whose eyes were now open. She smiled. He leant down and kissed her. She sat up and rolled onto him. Harry pulled away and kissed her cheek.

"I could really go for something to eat," Ruth said. Harry raised his eyebrows and Ruth playfully slapped his chest. "Food!"

Harry laughed and sat up. Ruth rolled off of him and stood up. Harry watched her as she grabbed a silk robe and wrapped it around herself.

"Eat in or out?" he asked as he got up and put a robe on. Ruth paused to think. She went over to the drawer and pulled out the room service menu.

"In, if you don't mind. It's been a long day."

Harry nodded and got back onto the bed. Ruth got on her side and they looked through the menu.

"Can we get a bottle of wine or will that not go well with your pain medication?" Harry asked. Ruth flashed him a look.

"Wine is fine. My medication isn't as strong and daily as it was right after my operation."

Harry nodded and Ruth phoned in the food. When she was done ordering she crawled back into bed and laid her head on the pillow.

"How long?" he asked.

"Twenty minutes… hopefully."

They stayed quiet for a couple minutes. Harry eventually rested his head on his pillow. Ruth reached for his hand and held it in hers. That was the only contact they had at the moment. Harry looked over and saw Ruth looked like she wanted to cry. He moved closer and held her. A tear rolled out of her eye.

"Shh, don't cry." He said soothingly.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. Everything is too perfect."

"How so?"

Ruth looked up at him and tightened her grip on his hand.

"You and me, alone in a suite away from it all. No red flash, no briefings, nothing. I'm sorry, but sometimes I can't help but think about what it will be like when you leave."

Harry took a deep breath and turned her so she looked him in the eyes.

"I'm not leaving you. I know right now you may think I am just saying it, but I'm not. I wouldn't have asked you to come on this trip with me if I planned on ending it by leaving you."

Ruth looked down at his chest. He had a point, but she still feared it.

"I want to believe you, but every time something makes me happy in life… it all disappears."

Harry kissed her forehead and whispered,

"Not this time."


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning Ruth woke up before Harry and she decided to go out and sit outside on the balcony. She made herself a cup of tea and kept it on the table next to her. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. If anybody told last month that she would be here she would have laughed. She was beginning to believe Harry when he would say he isn't leaving her, but part of her still can't believe it. MI-5 is his life and he lives to serve England. Part of her doesn't believe he can just walk away from all of that for her. She sighed and sipped her tea. It was still at her lips when a voice startled her.

"This is something I never expected to happen after what I promised you years ago."

Ruth nearly spit her tea on her shirt and she looked up. Standing in front of her was a colleague and friend who died a long time ago. Danny. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and white pants. Ruth put her tea down and sat up.

"Danny… how… I…?"

Danny smiled and sat down in the other chair on the balcony.

"You're not going crazy," He said to her. Ruth was still speechless. Danny smiled. "So, you and Harry eh? Back in the day I would never have guessed that."

Ruth turned a deep red, but she didn't look away. She was afraid if she did he would disappear. Danny chuckled.

"We weren't really… there wasn't… things happened after the original team left."

Danny nodded with a smile.

"Well, at least you're not bitter or alone. But I am sensing you're worried about something?" he asked. When Ruth didn't answer, he took that as the answer. "You know well… pretty much everybody we knew back then, knew how much I cared for Zoe. I hated seeing her leave and part of me wanted to take her place, but I knew I couldn't. She didn't deserve what she got. I didn't sleep for the next two days after she left and there were times where I just wanted to leave England forever just to be with her. She was my best friend and I loved her.

Ruth's eyes watered as he told her all of this. She remembers the looks he would give Zoe, loving looks.

"Even though I am no longer with the living, I still watched over all of you. I saw what kind of pain Harry went through when you were exiled years ago. I knew that pain because I had that pain with Zoe. I don't know if Malcolm told you when you came back, but Harry didn't sleep for a week. Literally. He was like me, he wanted to just chase after you and hold you close to him. He couldn't though because he knew how much danger that would put you in. Just like how I couldn't chase after Zoe. I would give anything to be able to see her again. My point in saying all of this, don't take advantage of this situation. I know that you know how much you love him. Knowing the pain he has been through losing you twice, he won't let you go again."

Ruth looked at Danny, not knowing what to say to him. Ruth knew how much it hurt Harry the first time when she had to get on that boat. She felt that same pain. She thought she would never love again and then she met George. Then she was the reason George was killed and Nico became fatherless. Looking back, she knows she cared a great deal for George, but Harry was always in her heart. She never stopped loving him.

_"Ruth, I'm trying. I'm trying, with all my limitations, which you know better than anybody."_

His voice rang in her head that day on the bridge. It was true. She knows him better than anybody. Danny watched all of the gears work in her head. He smiled. She was working it all out. Danny knew Harry was waking up and he stood up.

"He's waking." He said to Ruth. Ruth nodded and stood up. She turned to look at Danny, only to find him gone. Ruth stared at where Danny stood for a moment before opening the sliding door and heading back into the bedroom. Harry was in fact awake. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. He stood up when he saw her, but he wasn't standing for very long. Ruth rushed over and attacked him with a kiss. Harry was in shock for a moment but recovered and wrapped his arms around her. He felt Ruth begin to push him backwards and soon he was on his back on the bed again with Ruth on top of him. Eventually she pulled away for air, which they were both gasping for.

"Good morning to you too," He says with a smile. Ruth didn't smile and she just began to cry. Harry frowned and sat up and brought her with him. He held her closely in his lap as she cried. "Shh, don't cry."

Ruth took her head off of Harry's shoulder and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, I… after all these years all I did was push you away and hurt you…" she cried. Harry brought his hand to her face and wiped the tears away. "And now you say you'll stay and I never believed you, but I should and I do. I'm sorry. I don't… I don't want to push you away anymore because I love you."

Harry's eyes widened. Another tear slid down her face, but Harry moved forward and kissed her cheek and kissed the tears away. He then moved so he could properly kiss her. His hands came up and rested on either side of her face and Ruth's went up his neck. This time when they pulled apart Ruth wasn't crying.

"I love you, too." Harry whispered softly. He pulled her close and held her in his arms and they just sat there. Silence. There was no need for talk right now. It was out. They love each other and Harry knows he will fight until the death if anybody tries taking her away again.


	15. Chapter 15

Erin, Dimitri, and Malcolm were currently exiting the airport in Paris and getting into a rental car.

"I still cannot believe you didn't tell me." Dimitri said with a bit of anger. Erin sighed.

"I told you Di, we didn't have a choice. If I could have told I would have told you and Harry." She answers and saying the last part sadly. Malcolm gets in the driver's seat while Erin sits beside him and Dimitri in the back.

"I don't understand why we have to get Harry. He's never going to leave." Dimitri adds. Malcolm nods in agreement.

"Unfortunately Harry has quite a reputation in Britain so if he is gone more than three weeks somebody will notice."

"Including the Russian Embassy." Malcolm adds to Erin's statement.

"Noticeable or not, Towers must know our success in this will be little to nothing. I've heard stories about them you know!"

Malcolm rolls his eyes, "You only know what you think you know."

About a half an hour later, Malcolm parks the car a couple doors down from the apartment and the three of them walk towards it. Malcolm pulls out his key and leads the other two to Ruth's apartment. First, Erin knocks and when there is no response Malcolm opens it. Just as he suspected, she wasn't home.

"If she didn't find Harry or if he didn't find her where would she be right now?" Erin asks as she looks around the apartment. Malcolm looks at the clock.

"Either at the market or finishing up at work for the day. She works in a bookshop."

"She found him or vice versa," Dimitri states as he looks around and peeks into the bedroom. Erin and Malcolm walk over to him so he can justify his statement with evidence. "Closet door open with no clothing in it and same with drawers except for a few winter items."

"That only suggests that she has gone away." Erin says. Malcolm walks further into the room over to the bed.

"They found each other," he says and lifts a red tie from the duvet. "This is Harry's tie. The reason I know this is because I gave it to him for Christmas one year."

"That only proves she was with a man. There are a million red ties like that." Dimitri argues. Malcolm bits his tongue and turns the tie over. Meanwhile, Erin is looking around the bathroom. There were dirty towels in the hamper and most of Ruth's makeup was gone.

"We could check surveillance cameras." She hears Dimitri suggest. Erin goes through the trash and blushes at what she finds. She picks up a receipt and reads it. Then she moves back towards the bedroom.

"Tell me Malcolm, does Ruth usually go on vacations with a man she just met?" She asks. Malcolm frowns and shakes his head. Erin scratches her head and says, "Well, this is a drug store receipt for two boxes of condoms, band aids, toothpaste, and floss. I think it is safe to assume now that they are together."

* * *

While the other three were combing around Ruth's flat, Ruth and Harry were currently walking alongside a beach. They had to travel a bit of ways to get there, but they didn't mind. They were walking and talking to each other and holding hands. From the outside, they could pass as a married couple. In another hand, Harry was carrying a picnic basket for their lunch. Once they found a quiet area away from people, they settled down and set out a beach blanket to sit on while they ate. Harry insisted he pack the lunch so Ruth had no idea what was in there. She smiled and he eagerly went in to show her the first item.

"First, we have a grilled tuna sandwich with lemon chili mayo," he says and takes out a platter with two sandwiches on it. Ruth smiles knowing he knows her favourite foods. "A toasted pita and bean salad on the side," Harry takes out a bowl and two spoons. "A bottle of white burgundy and last but not least for dessert, chocolate covered strawberries."

Ruth's eyes lit up when she heard the dessert and watched Harry take it out. Harry smiled and placed it back in the basket so the chocolate wouldn't melt.

"This is perfect Harry," Ruth says and kisses him softly. "Thank you."

Harry handed her a half of a sandwich and he took the other half. They sat in silence for a bit and just watched the water. When Harry was done with his half, he opened the wine and poured a glass for him and Ruth. He raised his glass and handed her a glass.

"To us." He says softly. Ruth smiles and clinks her glass with his. They sip their wine and then finish their meal. Ruth went for the strawberries when Harry grabbed her hand.

"What are you doing?" Ruth asks as Harry moves everything so he is closer next to Ruth. She smiles and leans into him. Harry pulls out the strawberries and sets them in front of Ruth and him. Ruth grabs one and holds it up to Harry. He raises his eyebrows and she smiles.

"Open up."

Harry smiles and does as she asks and takes a bite from the strawberry. When finished, he holds one to her.

"My turn."

She, like he did before, smiles and bites into it. Once all the strawberries are gone, Harry puts everything back into the basket and then lays down with curled up next to him.

"How's your grand tour so far?" Ruth asks. Harry smiles and kisses her forehead.

"Just as I imagined it... well almost," Ruth raises her eyebrows at the almost part of his statement and he knows she is looking for more. "When I used to imagine it I was a bit younger and you were most certainly not recovering from a stab wound."

Ruth chuckles a bit and kisses his neck.

"But all and all we're doing what you planned."

Harry nods and smiles. "Yes..." Ruth looks up at him and knows that smile on his face.

"No, this is a public beach Harry!"

Harry turns to his side and kisses her. "Tell me Ruth, have you ever made love on a beach near where the waves are crashing as the sun begins to set a little?"

Truth was, Ruth had made love on a beach before with George, but she wasn't about to go and tell him that.

"No..." Harry smiles and kisses her again. Moments later he feels Ruth giving in and he smiles against the kiss. When she pulls away there is a different sparkle in her eyes, one he loves. "If we're caught, it's your fault."


End file.
